Distracted Communication

dinner-textingThe main problem we all are hearing about and witnessing each day is on the roads and it is called ‘distracted driving’. The statistics are daunting.

Texting and Driving Statistics

Texting while driving is a growing trend, and a national epidemic, quickly becoming one of the country’s top killers. Drivers assume they can handle texting while driving and remain safe, but the numbers don’t lie.

Texting While Driving Causes:

  1. 1,600,000 accidents per year – National Safety Council
  2. 330,000 injuries per year – Harvard Center for Risk Analysis Study
  3. 11 teen deaths EVERY DAY – Insurance Institute for Highway Safety Fatality Facts
  4. Nearly 25% of ALL car accidents

Texting While Driving Is:

  1. About 6 times more likely to cause an accident than driving intoxicated
  2. The same as driving after 4 beers – National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
  3. The number one driving distraction reported by teen drivers

Texting While Driving:

  1. Makes you 23X more likely to crash – National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
  2. Is the same as driving blind for 5 seconds at a time – VA. Tech Transportation Institute
  3. Takes place by 800,000 drivers at any given time across the country
  4. Slows your brake reaction speed by 18% – HumanFactors & Ergonomics Society
  5. Leads to a 400% increase with eyes off the road

This is a serious problem and you are being asked to help stop this trend as much as possible. Keep these facts in mind as the topic is now taken sideways to ‘distracted communication’.

Case 1:

There is the couple who are out on their ‘date night’. The babysitter is home taking care of their 2.3 children. Here they are together at last in their favorite restaurant. The menus sit on the table as they longingly stare – down at their phones! Texting away! Checking emails! Not talking to each other! Not communicating or connecting with each other!

Case 2:

The meeting has been going on for twenty minutes. Of the twelve people in the room, eight keep looking down into their laps. Cell phones in place they are texting, emailing, and generally not paying any attention to the presentation or the discussion going on in the meeting.

Case 3:

You are standing face to face with another person. This may be an important conversation you wish to have with the other person. The other person has their cell phone out and is nodding as you speak as they are looking at their phone, texting or emailing someone else. You say, in order to confirm the person is not listening, “yes the diagnosis is I was born without a brain or a heart” and the person stands there nodding yes to you!

Action Step:

It may actually be necessary to say to someone in each of the above cases or in any situation, “Please put away your phone for a few minutes in order for us, you and I to communicate with each other. Would that be okay with you?”

What do you think? Seriously – please comment in the comments area.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive coach, trainer and speaker based in Stamford, CT.

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Even a Control Freak Cannot Control Everything

stressed-control-freak“It’s not like I let people do things for me, so I guess you can call me a control freak, or you can call me passionate.” ~Courteney Cox 

In our lives we cannot control everything. Those who try to control everything around them will ultimately live a miserable life. Imagine in your own personal life if you were able to control every single thing. What would that list look like against the reality list of how everything actually works? Why not list this out right now? Try something like this:

IN MY LIFE I WANT TO CONTROL:         

1.

2.

3.

IN REALITY IT WORKS LIKE THIS:

1.

2.

3.

The key now is to own this list. Be okay with not being able to control each of these items in the reality column. Look over the items you want to control and determine if this really must be the case?

How about our lives in the business world? What if we were going to be able to control everything. What would be on this list now after comparing it to the original list? Would anyone else continue to work with you? 

IN MY BUSINESS (OR CAREER) I NEED TO CONTROL:

1.

2.

3.

 

IN REALITY THESE ITEMS ARE NOT UNDER MY CONTROL:

1.

2.

3. 

In the business world how much of a problem are the items not under your control? 

“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” ~Unknown

This is especially dangerous behavior for an entrepreneur or anyone in a start up company. In a perfect scenario each person has their area(s) of expertise and they need to be given enough freedom to complete their mission.

If you are an entrepreneur or working in a start-up company try filling in this list:

TODAY I AM ABLE TO CONTROL:

1.

2.

3.

I AM OKAY WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL:

1.

2.

3. 

Is it productive to be a total control freak at work? Is it okay in the business to share ownership across various people? 

“Steve Jobs had his critics. Some saw him as an egomaniac, and others, as a control freak.” ~Kevin O’Leary

For us to stand a chance don’t we have to be comfortable with ourselves and our own beliefs. The flip side of that is to listen to what others have to say as anyone of us would be able to fall back into the ‘control this’ model. 

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

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Tips For Dealing With Severe Cold Weather

Business CoachIn the marketing that we do, our delivery, our programs and everything where we provide information and services to others, do we go too deep too soon?

For Example:

Provided by Mitch Tublin: Tips for Dealing with severe cold weather      

  • Dress in layers. If you start to get too warm, you can remove one layer. Don’t wear cotton next to your skin; it can hold moisture and chill you.
  • Protect your head, hands and feet. In very cold weather, your extremities are more at risk for frostbite.
  • Drink plenty of fluids. You can get dehydrated in the cold as well as the heat. Don’t drink alcohol.
  • If it’s a bright, sunny, snow covered day wear sunscreen.
  • If any area of your body becomes numb or stings, get out of the cold. Don’t rub it. Let it warm on it’s own. If it stays numb, seek medical help.
  • Signs of hypothermia include: intense shivering, slurred speech, loss of coordination and fatigue. Seek emergency help right away if these symptoms occur.
    Source: The Mayo Clinic

How do you feel about this information? Many of the tips are about as basic as it gets. Meanwhile there are one or two items of deeper information provided later on in the Tips. Do you agree? Is this how you read these Tips?

This is an excellent example of how to organize and construct tips or advice. Provide the most basic information you are able to think of and place these early in the delivery. This will connect you with your reader, client or audience. Now as you have brought them  along the path with a few more items of basic information, and essentially have warmed them up you might offer some deeper more thoughtful content. If you do intend to provide deeper and more thoughtful information move these toward the end.

Here is a brief word of caution from me to you. Please do not take this article to mean ‘dumb down my work.’ No it is not my intent to ask you to ‘dumb down your work.’ The point is to offer, to in fact reinforce, the most basic information. At the very least you are building confidence in you since you are showing – “why yes, I know this and this” – and this makes you a trusted resource now in their eyes. They are now prepared to read or hear the more detailed information you may wish to provide.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

Have You Done Any Thinking?

ThinkingWhen is the last time you just picked up yourself or you along with your family, and just went on an unplanned trip for a few days or a long weekend? Studies reflect that people will spend more time planning a brief trip than to stop and think. Yes, that is correct, to think. In the world we live in today it is more than the electronic devices. It is more than the expectation that we are reachable within minutes. It is as if we are not satisfied unless we are occupied and in motion at all times.

We need to create time and space for us to effectively think. John C. Maxwell told me he has a writing chair. It is located in a specific room where he and his wife live. Surrounded by various items of inspiration and comfort it is a place where he will find himself possibly at 3:00 AM if he cannot sleep. When he goes there and sits in his writing chair, he writes. Is it possible we each need a thinking chair?

Here are a few quotes on thinking, to think about:

“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”
–          Mahatma Ghandi

“She that fails to command her thoughts will soon lose command of her actions.”
–          Unknown

“People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head, it is actually done by their heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it.”
–          Anthony de Mello

“What we think, we become.”
–          Buddha

The ability to think is not something only the wealthy may do. It is not a male or female only attribute. The depth of the thinking may depend upon your age; however, the process of thinking may be done by anyone of any age. My suggestion is to set aside a period of 45 minutes each month, for three months. Place this in your calendar as if it is the work you are doing with your best client. See how this works out.

You may decide to extend this experiment into six months or a year. You may determine you need a second day each month. You may decide you require more time than 45 minutes. This is an experiment, so experiment! Write out what you are thinking in long hand, so obtain a journal and write your thoughts in there. Place the date at the start of each of these appointments to think.

This habit may become one of your productive periods of time that you spend just thinking!

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

Three Steps to Free Up Your Time

In a previous article, Time to Watch How You Spend Your Time, it was suggested that you should track your time, in order to identify time wasters built into your schedule. In order to effectively put into use the three steps described below, a time tracking method should have been completed by you, for you, for at least a week or two.

One other calculation will be necessary in order to proceed. What is an hour of your time worth?

Step One – Review your time tracker results described in the previous article. Identify what you spent time on into a few categories. For example, “Items I must do” might be one column. Another column might be, “Personal Chores”. Another column might be, “Items someone else might be able to do.” If these example columns were your columns where are you spending most of your time? If your answer is “Items I must do”, you are being challenged right now to prove it. Is everything you are doing of the value you placed upon your hour of time value?

Step Two – In the review of your time tracker results what items do you spend time on at various times of the day which might be ‘batched’ in order to save time?

For example, if you are attending a networking lunch and in this similar geographic region are clients or prospects, call to make an appointment before or after the networking lunch. Take advantage of where you will be physically and utilize this time in this location to conduct other beneficial activities.

Step Three – What time of day and how often are you checking your email or writing emails based upon the results of your time tracker results? Schedule one or two times per day of a specific start and end time to read and/or respond to emails and stick to it. There are valuable lessons worth noting here of great importance. Your own habits in this area of responding to emails and reading emails create the urgency and expectation from others that you will respond to them in a quick and fairly immediate fashion. When you create the habit, and stick to it, of only interacting with email one or two specific times of the day at most, within a brief period of time the ‘urgency’ will change. You will relax and realize every email does not need to be answered immediately and your other side of the emails sent to you will recognize you will be responding to your emails when you get around to it, not sooner.

Incorporate these three steps into your schedule and you will free up time to utilize on other items of your choice.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified personal and executive coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

Stay in Touch for Success in Your Business

In your daily activities in your work, how do you stay in touch with your goals, your ideal client’s needs, and the purchasing wants of your consumers? Are you open to listening in each of these areas as they apply to your situation, or are you in a routine which is the same virtually every single day?

New experiences offer new insights. Meeting new people in other industries and businesses will offer you a fresh perspective on how you conduct yourself. This absolutely applies to anyone in any business at any level. The only difference would be who the people you are engaging with are, and what are the questions you are asking each other. If you are not interacting this way with people, you are leaving a great and free resource, which is available to you, not being utilized.

Where exactly will this take place?

This is a question asked often when this topic is raised. It is up to you.

What is your personality type and where do you go?

For example: Do you workout at a health club? Is there an interaction between you and any other members? Are you aware of their lives and what business they are in?

Or another example: Is there a conference which is attended by the type of people you would want to interact with? When you attend this conference do you intentionally interact in order to engage in meaningful conversations to mutually assist each other?

Last example: The dreaded “person next to you when flying” conversation. All that will be said about this is, you will never know if you don’t just have the brief conversation. The point of this is you control when and where you engage and speak with people.

Just like in any other activity, you must take the first step and get started. If you climb into your car each day for your drive to the office, then park your car and go directly to your desk. Each and every day you follow this routine and have minimal contact with anyone outside of your direct business requirement. How do you stay in touch with reality? If you work in your home office and follow a similar quiet routine, same question. How do you stay in touch with reality?

The ability to connect with others either as described or in a more formal setting, such as a mastermind group, are invaluable ways to stay connected and keep yourself in touch and motivated.

If you are ready to join a mastermind group, contact Mitch Tublin today. New groups are being formed every month. Email info@mitchtublin.com or call 877-907-8223.