September 16, 2016 by

You Cannot Control Everything

You Cannot Control Everything“It’s not like I let people do things for me, so I guess you can call me a control freak, or you can call me passionate.” ~Courteney Cox  

In our lives we cannot control everything. Those who try to control everything around them will ultimately live a miserable life. Imagine in your own personal life if you were able to control every single thing. What would that list look like against the reality list of how everything actually works? Why not list this out right now? Try something like this:

IN MY LIFE I WANT TO CONTROL:         

1.

2.

3.

IN REALITY IT WORKS LIKE THIS:

1.

2.

3.

The key now is to own this list. Be okay with not being able to control each of these items in the reality column. Look over the items you want to control and determine if this really must be the case?

How about our lives in the business world? What if we were going to be able to control everything. What would be on this list now after comparing it to the original list? Would anyone else continue to work with you? 

IN MY BUSINESS (OR CAREER) I NEED TO CONTROL:

1.

2.

3.

 

IN REALITY THESE ITEMS ARE NOT UNDER MY CONTROL:

1.

2.

3. 

In the business world how much of a problem are the items not under your control? 

“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?” ~Unknown

This is especially dangerous behavior for an entrepreneur or anyone in a start up company. In a perfect scenario each person has their area(s) of expertise and they need to be given enough freedom to complete their mission.

If you are an entrepreneur or working in a start-up company try filling in this list:

TODAY I AM ABLE TO CONTROL:

1.

2.

3.

I AM OKAY WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTROL:

1.

2.

3. 

Is it productive to be a total control freak at work? Is it okay in the business to share ownership across various people? 

“Steve Jobs had his critics. Some saw him as an egomaniac, and others, as a control freak.” ~Kevin O’Leary

For us to stand a chance don’t we have to be comfortable with ourselves and our own beliefs. The flip side of that is to listen to what others have to say as anyone of us would be able to fall back into the ‘control this’ model. 

Are you ready to start working with a coach? Contact Mitch here.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

 

Filed Under: Business Strategy, Focus, Life Balance, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
February 4, 2016 by

Are We All Really That Busy?

Are we all busy people - or is it time managementYou see a person that you know walking by you – does this conversation sound familiar:

“Hey, how are you?“
“Great! Really busy! You?”
“Yeah, me too! Busy, busy.”
“Nice to see you.”
“Yes, same. We should plan to get together – two couples – one day soon.”
“Yeah, let’s do that! Gotta, go!”
“Say hello at home.”
“Will do.”

Aren’t we all so – – – BUSY!

Seriously, what is the deal? Why do we all find that being busy is important and that being busy equates to actually executing and getting important and critical things accomplished?

My proposal to you is to get unplugged everyday as soon as possible. Plan out what you must get accomplished each day and then figure out the priorities and begin to execute the plan for the day. Better yet – plan out the day before you plug in at all!

Right away things that people will bring up and ask about are:

  • checking email
  • checking voicemail
  • reading and responding to text messages

Rather than suggest a full ‘cold turkey’ approach, my suggestion is to set a time and then a time limit each day for these activities.

For Example: Schedule three or four specific times each day for fifteen minutes each in total. During this time check email, texts and voicemail. These times might be at approximately 10 AM – 1 PM – 3 PM – 5:30 PM.

The times – how many there are (two or three or four) – how long exactly is the time period (15, 10, 20 minutes) – is a personal preference.

The point is to set up a schedule with the parameters and then follow it! Adhere to the new schedule. If the 5:30 PM time slot bothers you consider why it bothers you? Are you feeling as if it is too early as you will be working and reading and responding to email all night long at least up until 11 PM? Or is the 5:30 PM time after 5 PM and you only have access to email in your office and you leave every single day at 4:55 PM?

It is not for me to judge how anyone conducts their work. This is about being more efficient, effective and productive in the work we all are doing.The busy work which may creep into anyone’s work habits must be erased. Analyze what really needs to have your focus and time devoted to and spend your time and effort on that and much less time checking your email.

Use the comments area to let me know where you find yourself keeping busy instead of being productive

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified coach, trainer and speaker based in Stamford, CT.

Filed Under: Business Planning, Life Balance, Time Management Tagged With: , , , , , ,
November 12, 2015 by

Distracted Communication

dinner-textingThe main problem we all are hearing about and witnessing each day is on the roads and it is called ‘distracted driving’. The statistics are daunting.

Texting and Driving Statistics

Texting while driving is a growing trend, and a national epidemic, quickly becoming one of the country’s top killers. Drivers assume they can handle texting while driving and remain safe, but the numbers don’t lie.

Texting While Driving Causes:

  1. 1,600,000 accidents per year – National Safety Council
  2. 330,000 injuries per year – Harvard Center for Risk Analysis Study
  3. 11 teen deaths EVERY DAY – Insurance Institute for Highway Safety Fatality Facts
  4. Nearly 25% of ALL car accidents

Texting While Driving Is:

  1. About 6 times more likely to cause an accident than driving intoxicated
  2. The same as driving after 4 beers – National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
  3. The number one driving distraction reported by teen drivers

Texting While Driving:

  1. Makes you 23X more likely to crash – National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
  2. Is the same as driving blind for 5 seconds at a time – VA. Tech Transportation Institute
  3. Takes place by 800,000 drivers at any given time across the country
  4. Slows your brake reaction speed by 18% – HumanFactors & Ergonomics Society
  5. Leads to a 400% increase with eyes off the road

This is a serious problem and you are being asked to help stop this trend as much as possible. Keep these facts in mind as the topic is now taken sideways to ‘distracted communication’.

Case 1:

There is the couple who are out on their ‘date night’. The babysitter is home taking care of their 2.3 children. Here they are together at last in their favorite restaurant. The menus sit on the table as they longingly stare – down at their phones! Texting away! Checking emails! Not talking to each other! Not communicating or connecting with each other!

Case 2:

The meeting has been going on for twenty minutes. Of the twelve people in the room, eight keep looking down into their laps. Cell phones in place they are texting, emailing, and generally not paying any attention to the presentation or the discussion going on in the meeting.

Case 3:

You are standing face to face with another person. This may be an important conversation you wish to have with the other person. The other person has their cell phone out and is nodding as you speak as they are looking at their phone, texting or emailing someone else. You say, in order to confirm the person is not listening, “yes the diagnosis is I was born without a brain or a heart” and the person stands there nodding yes to you!

Action Step:

It may actually be necessary to say to someone in each of the above cases or in any situation, “Please put away your phone for a few minutes in order for us, you and I to communicate with each other. Would that be okay with you?”

What do you think? Seriously – please comment in the comments area.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive coach, trainer and speaker based in Stamford, CT.

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Filed Under: Focus, Habits, Life Balance Tagged With: , , ,
February 27, 2015 by

Are You Texting While Driving?

texting-while-drivingAre you texting while driving? Seriously let me know in the comments area. This is one of the most current behaviors in distracted driving which is the cause of numerous accidents and in some cases death from accidents with cars, trucks, bicycles, taxis, buses and pedestrians.

It seems as if everyone feels they must see the messages on their cell phones as soon as these messages are posted. Then to make matters worse they are responding to the messages while driving!

No one questions the fact that this behavior is a distraction, however, the behavior still persists.

If we may all agree that the behavior of texting while conducting another activity is in fact a distraction – how about in your relationship and at work – would texting while involved in a conversation at home or texting while at work be considered a distraction?

You must have seen a couple out for an evening together sitting across from each other at the table.  Instead of looking into each others eyes and having a conversation they are sitting across from each other and looking at their cell phones! For the entire meal from the initial ordering process all the way through their dessert the blue light from their cell phones was reflected off of their faces.

Have you attended a meeting where a person or two or more were looking under the edge of the table and looking at their cell phones and texting during the meeting? Why were they even attending this meeting if the texting was more important to them than the topic being discussed at the meeting?

Do you have the feeling when on the phone with someone discussing business that the person on the other end of the conversation is either on social media, reading or writing email or texting? They keep asking you to repeat what you had said or asked them.

You ask a question and then wait and there is nothing for a full minute. Then the question comes, “Were you saying something? I thought we were disconnected?”

Where do you fall on this topic? Is it more important to be engaged with the people you are physically present with and have a conversation?

When you attend a meeting in person with people who are present and in person should anyone be in the meeting and texting? Take a moment and select one or more of these questions and respond in the comments area with your own thoughts or experiences on this topic. Depending upon your answers maybe the next article should be texted to your cell phone.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

Filed Under: Life Balance, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , , ,
October 3, 2014 by

Do You Walk The Tight Rope Every Single Day?

tight-ropeAre you performing a high wire act each and every day?

Have you been to the circus before and watched the amazing people walk the tight rope or high wire way up in the air? How amazing are they to watch? One small lapse in concentration or one small step in the wrong direction and it is a long way down.

Are you walking the tight rope every single day?

How about you in your daily activities in your business, your family life, your community, your social life, your health and more. Do you comfortably move from one minute to the next knowing exactly what needs to be done and by when and have full confidence everything will be completed. Or are you walking that tight rope every single day trying to fit everything into a packed schedule and not really thinking you will get through everything, in fact, you are convinced you won’t.

Many of us think when people use the term work life balance that the statement means we all should strive to have an even balanced life. It does not mean that at all.  What it really means is we all have a balancing act to try to live in a world where we work, have a family, have a social life, volunteer and work in the community and more. We try to balance our lives so we do not fall off the tight rope we walk on each day!

“Breathe, breathe, clear your mind, breathe, breathe.”

That is what my yoga instructor and friend says each time we practice yoga in her class.

Sure we do our best to clear our minds. Seriously though there is so much to do. How is it humanly possible to shut down and not think about all of the things that we have to get done? “Just breathe, just breathe, close your eyes if you want, clear your mind. For this one hour concentrate on your breathing, just breathe.”

Imagine a room filled with mostly type A people hearing this in the morning when there is a smart phone (who ever named the dumb phone a smart anyway) waiting to steal more of our time away from us.

Truth be told, yoga has made all the difference to me. The ability to attend my yoga practice with my friend who is the instructor has given me the gift to find balance. The gift to breathe and breathe. The gift to completely shut down for one single hour.

Why do any of us feel we must walk a tight rope every single minute of every single day?  Why do we create this type of a situation for our selves? Tell me in the comments section.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

 

Filed Under: Life Balance, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , , ,
March 5, 2014 by

How Do You Spend Your Time?

spend-timeThere are so many articles, books, and top ten tips lists on the topic of time management. Everyone has an opinion. A unique spin on how to save a few minutes here or a few minutes there and you know these all add up at the end of the year. In fact here is what one of these might look like:

TOP SEVEN WAYS TO SAVE TIME

  1. Do not check your email, Facebook, Twitter or anything online first thing in the morning.  Instead make a list of the three most important, must get done items today and then bullet point what you must do to get these done today.  The electronic stuff waits until later.
  2. Utilize an assistant or voicemail to their best capacity. Empower your assistant with scripts or the ability to solve certain situations by themselves.
  3. Do not attend meetings unless you know exactly why they are necessary, who is the person in charge of the meeting, and what is the exact objective of the meeting.
  4. If you go to a meeting there must be action item(s) assigned at the end of the meeting with names and timelines.
  5.  Utilize a planner either written or device where your time is scheduled in fifteen or thirty minute increments seven days a week.  Yes you may write relax across eights hours on a Saturday if you choose.  My preference would be to write in exactly what relaxing means to you during that time period.
  6. Make time to read, exercise and eat. By making the time to conduct these important healthy activities the rest of your time will be spent more productively.
  7. Check email, Facebook, Twitter and any online areas you wish, first thing in the morning.  Yes, do it.  Get it going right away.  You might start people moving in a direction on a project and check back later to see how it is going.  You might be responding to someone in the U.K. and later they will not be available. Choose this one or number one (above).  Your choice. Which suits you better? 

There you have an example of what one of these top lists looks like.

Now what?  How about you use the information and try it out for a week or a month or a year and see if it makes a difference?  My thought is if you become more productive and at the same time you save some time we will have a value added moment together!

Mitch Tublin is an advanced, certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

Filed Under: Business Strategy, Life Balance Tagged With: , , , ,
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