What Costume Do You Wear?

Many people have been preparing for days, weeks, even months for the big day and maybe more importantly the big weekend right ahead. What would so many people put their time, energy, effort and money into? What else – a costume to wear for Halloween! This year the actual trick-or-treat day is on Monday. The weekend before will certainly be filled with parties to attend in full costume.

New York Costumes Halloween Adventure

Not too many years ago this was an activity for children in The Americas. A super hero, a law enforcement or fire fighter look alike, a soldier, a clown, a witch, a vampire, a bumble bee or even Frankenstein! There were endless choices. Now it is an adult ritual. In fact an entire industry has blossomed selling adult costumes!

Are you getting dressed up for a Halloween bash?

Go right now to the comments section and let us know what you will be dressed up as so we know who you are from across the room.

Here is the thing – are you authentic – are you real – in your daily business and personal life? OR – are you dressed up and in costume all of the time every day?

When in my first auditorium meeting with the entire entering class of the United States Merchant Marine Academy – after we were issued our gear, were yelled at, no screamed at, did numerous braces against the wall and push ups on the deck – we were all told to look to our right and to look to our left and understand that odds were only one of the three of us were going to graduate – period – actually we were told – it was a fact.

The statistics say the divorce rate in the United States is right around 50%. This means that every single time a couple gets married one out of two are going to be divorced. It seems clear to me – odds are great – that one or both of these folks are not being real, not being authentic in their relationship with the other person. Maybe even both of them are not being real and not being authentic. How does this happen?

We all have our personality – our behavior profile – which is who we are for real. Based upon a variety of circumstances and feedback from other people, some negative, some parts of this personality or behavior is selected to be hidden or tucked away. You may be shocked at how many people live this way for their entire lives!

Imagine for a moment if you really understood your personality and instead of hiding any aspect of it you were able to understand what other personalities exist in people and how you and they would be able to interact and get along better?

In my profession we utilize certain assessments to conduct this work. The results of the assessment combined with training permits people to excel to their highest levels in their personal lives and in business.

Ready to have your own assessment and review meeting or how about for your entire team? Contact Mitch Here!

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified personal and executive coach, trainer and speaker based in Stamford, CT.


The One Incident

Unlocked Stamford - The One Incident“That One Person” – this was the theme for the Unlocked Stamford event held recently.

You can read more about the group here as long as you promise to come right back when you are done.

Upon reflecting after speaking at the event, where the theme was about what one person has had a great influence on you, my thoughts went to “What One Incident” or “The One Incident”. This would be an interesting topic or theme for a group of speakers as well.

Let me back up for a moment. Our assignment was to create a twenty slide presentation deck which had to be sent over in advance by a few days – which prevented any last minute changes – these slides would automatically advance every fifteen seconds which would be the subject of your five minute talk in pictures or at least slides.

Each speaker prepared excellent talks on a person who greatly influenced them. Some were from the past and others were right now in the present.

The room held about forty people more or less. Each member of the audience seemed to enjoy their evening hearing the stories from each of the five speakers.

Do you have a “That One Person” story? Feel free to go right into the comments here on this article and share you story, we would all love to read about that one person who influenced you.

Now let’s move onto this new idea for a theme – “The One Incident”.

First allow me to invite you to go to the comments right here on this article and share your “The One Incident” story with us. We all really do want to hear this story from you.

Second is would you be interested in helping me select one of these stories. You may place your vote in the comments section of this article by naming the story line. These are the potential candidates for me for my story on “The One Incident” – a single incident which greatly impacted me. The winner will be the theme for a new article posted here at a future date.

  1. The sudden death of my younger brother at age 30 plus.
  1. The birth of our first two children, twins, and almost losing them both during pregnancy and then again right after birth.
  1. The sudden death of a friend and former shipmate in a car accident.
  1. The at sea rescue of 65 people in the South China Sea and the inspection of the boat at sea by me looking for dead bodies before cutting loose the shell of a boat the survivors were on.
  1. One of our children being struck by an SUV one night. Almost to lights out.

Select the one you feel should be my “The One Incident” by writing in the comment section the subject line from this list. Thank you in advance.

Are you interested in booking Mitch to speak or present to your company, group or organization? Click here.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified coach, trainer and speaker who is based in Stamford, CT.

You Are Being Watched And Profiled By Everyone Else All The Time

There are two cars and the same exact driver. The reaction from the outside world was eye opening. Of course in my work with clients who are either seeking to enhance their career opportunities, or a client in transition who is seeking their next position, we always discuss in detail every aspect of their personal appearance. The clothes they wear anywhere. No matter where they are going.

We review their personal grooming habits and their level of fitness. Everything is on the table, really, pun intended!

So why did it come as a bit of a shock to me how people reacted to the same driver when driving my daughter’s almost fifteen year old Toyota with no rust but a bit of peeling paint as opposed to when the same driver when driving my five/six year new Volvo?


Let’s first discuss the fine print of this study. There is no fine print!

No numbers of people. No secure testing facility. No fake outs, make outs or industry groups contributed to influencing the results. The one driver – me – and my first hand accounts of enough examples to write them out for you to consider what this may mean to you. Let’s clear up why drive the Toyota at all? Why not? It is good to keep cars in use if someone is out of town or it would otherwise not be in use. Therefore, rotation is the right way to go. What type of car do you drive?

The majority of the time driving the Toyota is spent dressed in a nice polo shirt or my yoga shirt. This would depend upon the going to or returning from the yoga class.

Earlier, before the study results were analyzed, half the time would have included a shirt, tie and possibly a sports jacket depending upon the time of the year. Then the study results came in.

The first and most obvious reaction was from business associates, networking events, and seeing various clients and potential clients. If anyone saw me drive in or on the way to exit in the Toyota, invariably, as in 100% of the time, there would be a comment.

Quickly my response would be, “It is my daughter’s car, I told her I would fill up the tank for her.” It wasn’t long before the Toyota stopped joining me for any type of activity directly or indirectly related to business.

Now for the meat of the study – the on the road reaction from the outside world.

Below behavior witnessed a minimum of two to three times more often while driving the Toyota:

Let’s begin with being cut off. There may as well have been a sign on the rear of the car saying, “Please feel free to cut me off!”.

Right Thru Red, Right Thru Stop Sign and anyone turning from the side in front of my path or direction. When you see a driver actually stop in any of these cases which is rare to begin with and then take a long look at you and then proceed to go anyway – makes you wonder what they saw.

People in SUV’s and any of the larger suburb type of trucks which are great for ranchers or farmers but seriously who has to have these in the suburbs? Have to love these folks. In the parking lot they actually do not care at all as they open up the door and slam it into the side of the Toyota. It is as if there is a Sweepstakes or Reality Show to see who may leave the deepest and largest ding in the metal.

In closing, the final item in the road reaction portion of the study – Tailgating. The amount of distance from the person behind me and their bumper to my rear fender was about the smallest one might imagine. Highway or street – hands down.

Why should any of this matter to anyone else?

If you do not think you are being assessed – profiled – having people create an impression of you by what you wear, what you drive and how you look – it is time to wake up and smell the coffee. Remember, all of this happens before you have said one single word.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

Are you seeking to advance your career or are you in career transition? Contact Mitch to set up a call. It is time to get results.

Are You In Costume Everyday of Your Life?

Are You In Costume Everyday of Your LifeAre you in costume everyday of your life?  At work and at home are you who you really are, or are you role playing all the time and you have lost track of who you really are?

Are you really you when you are working with your clients and customers?

The point of this question is do you assume a role? Essentially are you in costume when you show up to work with clients, customers or are out networking.? Is this what you do?

In addition, do you have MVS syndrome? This stands for Multiple Value Systems. There is the value system you ask your family to live by. The one you live by in your place of worship. Then there is the value system you utilize at work and with your employees, your clients and your customers. Maybe you cut corners. Maybe you do not treat all of your employees as real people with a real life outside of the workplace. Do you have MVS?

Allow me to apologize if anyone is feeling attacked. As you will see these are questions meant to have you reflect on yourself for a few moments. Let’s take a quick timeout.

In case the calendar has slipped your mind, this is the end of October! Which means it is time to conduct a few activities for next year. A few of these might include:

  1. Strategy for next year
  2. Goals for next year
  3. Monthly plan for next year
  4. Events you are attending/hosting next year
  5. Vacations you are taking next year

There is more. Where you are able to add in dates, timelines and due dates put these in place as well.

Okay, back to the main article.

People know a fake a mile away. Why does anyone even go there? Why not be yourself? Why not be honest about who you are and what you value and care about?

More often than you might imagine the answer is fear. There is a fear of failure. By acting as someone else, there is a feeling that you will not be the failure it will belong to this ‘other’ person and not you. This is not the only answer or reason. It is one possibility.

Another is a lack of confidence. Again by ‘playing’ another role it is like putting on the Superman outfit. My suggestion is to be yourself all the time. If wearing the Superman outfit makes you feel better, fine. Wear it all the time then!

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.


Celebrate Independence!

flag2014The annual celebration in the USA of Independence Day is here!

For the majority of people this is all about being around friends and family. Then it is about eating, drinking, fireworks displays, parades and in an order which fluctuates and repeats itself as the celebration typically continues for a few days when a weekend is nearby to the actual date of JulyFourth, as it is this year.

Teachers and schools are out for the summer break all over the USA therefore the historical aspects of the July Fourth celebration are left to others to pass on to their children as they see fit.

This is not going to be an article about history or the importance of understanding why celebrating July Fourth in the USA is taking place each year. A plug here for Philadelphia…If you have never visited Philadelphia do plan a visit especially around this time of year.  The home of the roots of the USA and the birthplace of the Cheese-steak sandwich. Not for anyone eating a healthy diet, but a great excuse for a mulligan.

Rather it is to ask you about Independence – true Independence – what it means to you?

All over the world and for each individual person the concept of Independence takes on it’s own meaning. In many countries there is a ruling group and there is no concept of Independence. A discussion of the subject with them would be similar to a discussion about the creatures who arrived on a space ship from another galaxy and landed in Omaha, NE the other day to attend the Annual Meeting of Berkshire Hathaway.

There are individuals who feel under the thumb of their spouse. Independence to these individuals would be to become free of this situation they feel trapped in.

Certain business owners feel true Independence would be to able to earn more money in order to grow and pay off debt.

People who have a job which they despise feel true Independence would be to either obtain a job they loved or to start their own business. This would be true Independence for them.

For me true Independence is defined by owning and running my own business. Where my mission is to add value to others and to their businesses by creating leaders who know what it takes to lead and to communicate authentically. My own business. Just the sound of these words spoken aloud ring true Independence for me.

How about you?  What would true Independence be for you?

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.


Merry Christmas

“Forgive those who have hurt you. If you are carrying strong feelings about something that happened in your past, they may hinder your ability to live in the present.” 
– Les Brown

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
 Bob Hope

Enjoy your family and friend’s during this holiday season. Take the time to consider for some folks there is a lot of stress, anxiety and grief as they recall loved ones passed. Be extra considerate and offer to be extra patient.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.