“You must ‘be’ before you can ‘do’ or ‘have'”. ~ Paul J. Meyer
Ever take the time to allow your mind to relax? For me the sound of the ocean and walking in the sand is about as relaxing as it gets. Your mind is wandering and thoughts seem to drift in and out. What happens after this is a complete gift. Once your mind is in the completely relaxed state without the daily distractions of email, cell phones and more, you have the opportunity to honestly appraise yourself. Just “be”.
“Ok Mitch, uh be who, or be whom?” Exactly!
“Okay, so what are you saying to do?” Look at yourself in the mirror!
No, this is not about how you look in your bathing suit! Or it very well might be. It is about who are you, what is it you want to achieve, what is your thing, really. Not the armored up version of you which you present yourself as, rather the real deal your real mission and purpose. Then continue, what are you doing about it? Are you living and acting in harmony with this answer? Would your family, friends and co-workers agree with these statements and agree this is how you show up each and every day?
It is actually never too late to start. If the reality is not consistent with your desired self what actions might you begin to take to turn this around? The idea is to begin slowly.
This is habit change and behavior change. Similar to a fad diet, if you drastically try to change everything you might be successful in the short term, yet there will not be lasting change. Write everything down you are not satisfied with about yourself. Rate these and prioritize the list. Begin with the items which are the most important to you or will have the most significant impact.
Record what action you are taking next to the current habit or behavior you do not like.
Check in often with yourself to confirm you are in fact taking these actions and making these strides. When creating habit change and behavior change it has been proven that the most lasting method for implementing these is to have a coach or an accountability partner or both. Through a schedule where you are meeting with each other at least each week or two on time and on schedule will assist greatly in a positive outcome.
Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.
Thanks for sharing this. I find that writing down what I am hoping to achieve is so helpful in clarifying and focusing on the goal. And not just writing it down once, but every day.
Habits can be changed it just takes time. This postvreminded me of the quote by Mark Twain: “A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”
I agree, having a coach or accountability partner is key!
Like your Paul Meyer quote up at the top of this post. Good read about changing habit.
Great stuff, Mitch. I agree, it’s never too late to change if you’re reality is not matching your desires. We are always at choice and as long as we’re breathing we can make a change.
I just spent two weeks kayaking 3 hours a day and it was beyond relaxing. Story blocks I’ve had since 2003 opened up into full story lines. It took me years to get to the place where I could allow myself to unplug, and I’m so glad I made it a habit!
Thanks for the excellent advice Mitch (and the subject of many popular songs through the years!)