The One Incident

Unlocked Stamford - The One Incident“That One Person” – this was the theme for the Unlocked Stamford event held recently.

You can read more about the group here as long as you promise to come right back when you are done.

Upon reflecting after speaking at the event, where the theme was about what one person has had a great influence on you, my thoughts went to “What One Incident” or “The One Incident”. This would be an interesting topic or theme for a group of speakers as well.

Let me back up for a moment. Our assignment was to create a twenty slide presentation deck which had to be sent over in advance by a few days – which prevented any last minute changes – these slides would automatically advance every fifteen seconds which would be the subject of your five minute talk in pictures or at least slides.

Each speaker prepared excellent talks on a person who greatly influenced them. Some were from the past and others were right now in the present.

The room held about forty people more or less. Each member of the audience seemed to enjoy their evening hearing the stories from each of the five speakers.

Do you have a “That One Person” story? Feel free to go right into the comments here on this article and share you story, we would all love to read about that one person who influenced you.

Now let’s move onto this new idea for a theme – “The One Incident”.

First allow me to invite you to go to the comments right here on this article and share your “The One Incident” story with us. We all really do want to hear this story from you.

Second is would you be interested in helping me select one of these stories. You may place your vote in the comments section of this article by naming the story line. These are the potential candidates for me for my story on “The One Incident” – a single incident which greatly impacted me. The winner will be the theme for a new article posted here at a future date.

  1. The sudden death of my younger brother at age 30 plus.
  1. The birth of our first two children, twins, and almost losing them both during pregnancy and then again right after birth.
  1. The sudden death of a friend and former shipmate in a car accident.
  1. The at sea rescue of 65 people in the South China Sea and the inspection of the boat at sea by me looking for dead bodies before cutting loose the shell of a boat the survivors were on.
  1. One of our children being struck by an SUV one night. Almost to lights out.

Select the one you feel should be my “The One Incident” by writing in the comment section the subject line from this list. Thank you in advance.

Are you interested in booking Mitch to speak or present to your company, group or organization? Click here.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified coach, trainer and speaker who is based in Stamford, CT.

Are You Working With Affirmations?

affirmationsThere are various opinions and schools of thought on the use of affirmations. There are some who refer to affirmations as ‘New Age’ thinking. Others who say “Nothing is going to happen just because you hope it happens.” For those who are in this camp – there you are – you have been recognized!

The reality is that affirmations are part of what Anthony Robbins (as in Tony Robbins of the famous walk on the hot coals events) teaches and is referenced in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). Well known classic books discuss the concepts and benefits of positive affirmations – Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles.

The use of positive affirmations helps us to create a positive mental attitude. 

In actual use positive affirmations are written out and placed in a location where the statement will be seen first thing in the morning each day. This will trigger us to say the positive affirmation out loud each day to begin our day.

For those who require a little more scientific support feel free to research the topic of ‘how much of the human brain is utilized’ question. Read through the information and take note of the part which refers to:

Perhaps the broadest, most mysterious question is how diverse regions of the brain collaborate to form conscious experiences. To date, there is no evidence that there is one site for consciousness, which leads experts to believe that it is truly a collective neural effort. Therefore, the idea exists that humans have untapped cognitive potential…

Add into the mix the fact that we – all humans – learn best through ‘spaced repetition’. This is especially true when the senses are brought into play. Where reading an item is combined with hearing the item read and potentially watching the item presented via a video. Multiple repetitions and multi-sensory.

An affirmation may be on a specific topic. Affirmations may be from a book or another written work which is meaningful to us. Should one desire to create their own affirmation, keep in mind that it needs to be present tense, positive, personal and specific.

Here are a few affirmations to get you started:

  • I love and approve of myself
  • I matter and what I have to offer this world also matters
  • I breathe in calmness and breathe out nervousness
  • I am aligned with the energy of abundance
  • I play a big role in my own career success
  • I choose to fully participate in my day
  • I let go of worries that drain my energy

Feel free to work with these or find others you connect with better. You may wish to craft your own positive affirmations.

Write out a few of these and place the index card or PostIt note where you will see it to read aloud first thing in the morning each day. Write out another index card in order to carry it with you in order to read out loud a few times each day. Stick with this process for at least sixty to ninety days. At the very least, you will feel better each day when you start your day.

Do you have a personal favorite positive affirmation? Place it in the comments.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive coach who resides in Stamford,CT.

Are you ready to feel empowered? Sign up for information on the upcoming Empowerment Mentoring Program.

 

Be Proud – And Stay Focused

FocusWhat are the proud moments you cherish with your family and your children? How do we each recall these and remember them? I thoroughly enjoy writing my own articles which are sent out to my regular subscribers by email each week, read by a variety of people on examiner.com and a few other organizations I regularly write articles for submission. This week is special as this blog was written by one of my sons, describing an event we all attended as a family for an achievement by one of my other sons. As always please feel free to forward and share this article as it may inspire others or at least the way they think.

Your car goes where your eyes go

“That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny”

– Enzo, The Art of Racing in the Rain

How many of us know what we want to be when we grow up?

For those who do, how many take tangible steps to get closer to that goal?

Of this select group, how many people actually fulfill their dream?

Seriously, think about it. I bet you know one, maybe two people who can say they’ve fulfilled a longtime dream. Whether we lose interest, lack confidence, gain perspective, or succumb to peer pressure, most of us stop pursuing our most ambitious goals before we ever really start. We settle for the practical, the tried-and-true, the more reasonable path.

We dream big, but don’t take action. Not because we can’t, but because we fear it won’t happen. It can’t happen, not for us. Dreaming is for little kids, fairy tales, and trust fund ivy leaguers.

It happens all the time. We reject ourselves before we apply.

The Top 1%

Last week my brother Neil graduated from flight school to become a Naval Aviator. A freakin’ pilot. In the Navy. Flying F-18s.

I couldn’t be more proud.

The officer at his winging ceremony called Neil and his fellow graduates the “top 1%” of what our country has to offer the military. Crazy stuff, to know my brother is in that class.

Neil’s wings

Neil’s wings

In the past I would have listened to such a comment and thought, “Wow, those guys must be superhuman. Where do they make these machine-men who endure years of military schooling, testing, and bend-but-don’t break training, in order to successfully earn the right to fly a military jet?”

But now I don’t see it that way.

Having grown up two years apart from a newly minted Navy Pilot, I know you don’t have to be superhuman to get those wings. In fact, innate ability plays only a small role in achieving any goal. The key piece of the puzzle is knowing where you’re going.

Your car goes where your eyes go

I recently finished reading The Art of Racing in the Rain, a fictional story I’d highly recommend to anyone. Even if you don’t like fiction, give it a shot. It’s short and you’ll breeze through it. Plus, you’ll learn a lot about life.

The narrator, a dog named Enzo, loves Formula 1 race car driving. He uses racing analogies to describe what he experiences around him, which mostly deals with the ups and downs of his owner’s life. I won’t ruin the book, but let’s just say persistence in the face of adversity is a key theme.

One of the recurring mantras repeated throughout the book is “your car goes where your eyes go.” In racing, if you’re only focused on what’s happening immediately around your car, you lose the ability to anticipate what’s ahead. Only by looking ahead to the next turn, and trusting your training and ability to get you there, can you optimally position yourself to win the race.

In other words, we end up where we see ourselves going. The future we see is the future we create. It’s the idea of the self-fulfilling prophecy, and it doesn’t just apply to race car driving.

When Neil was really young, maybe 7 or 8 years old, he said he wanted to be a pilot in the Navy. Not only that, but he knew how he was going to do it. He would apply to the United States Naval Academy, get in, graduate, do well enough to go to flight school, then graduate with good enough grades to fly jets.

He didn’t just write it down, or quietly draw a picture for art class. He said the words. I remember it.

You know how almost every kid wants to play pro football, baseball, or basketball? The reaction is always the same, “Okay dude, that’s great. But what’s your Plan B?” Well, that’s kind of the reaction I had when I heard Neil’s grand scheme. It’s not that I didn’t think it could happen, and I definitely didn’t want to discourage him. I just knew the odds were long, and I didn’t want to see him put all his hopes into one path. Because, you know… what if it didn’t work out?

Good thing he was looking farther down the track.

Don’t give them a reason to not accept you

But it’s not enough to know where you’re going. You also have to believe you will get there.

Almost everything I’ve ever accomplished happened because I knew it would. I didn’t hope, I didn’t wish – I had full confidence things would work out in my favor.

Prime example – getting into Wisconsin’s School of Business as an undergrad.

One of my deciding factors in enrolling at UW was the strength of the undergraduate business program. The school had a great curriculum, deep in several respectable majors, yet flexible enough so students could take classes in other departments. It also had a strong alumni network, and a great reputation. I liked that. But so did a lot of other students. Due to the school’s popularity on campus, you had to be on top of your game academically to gain admittance after your sophomore year. (Back then, you had to have junior standing before officially declaring a Business major).

Everyone knew the school was hard to get into, and we all handled this knowledge differently. I distinctly remember several conversations on my dorm floor freshman year, with other kids also declared as “Pre-Business.” They would try to figure out how to cut corners and game the system so they could make it seem like they were good candidates for the school, without actually working as hard. I would nod my head in silence.

Inevitably, the conversation always swung to the same question, “What will you do if you don’t get in? What’s your back-up plan?”

I always had the same response, “I’m going to get in.” I was dead serious.

Without fail, I’d get laughs, shrugs, and the always popular, “Ohh, okaaaay dude. You and everybody else.”

But I wasn’t kidding. I meant it. I truly knew it was going to happen.

Four semesters later, I got into the school without a shadow of a doubt. Many of the kids I remember having conversations with freshman year did not.

What happened here, and why does it matter? The difference between me and these kids was psychological, not academic. A lot of them were book-smart, but their mindset was way off. They were already thinking of themselves as fringe candidates, not as front-runners to get in. Ultimately, I knew the best way to set myself up for success was to go to class, work hard, and learn as much as possible. The grades would take care of themselves, but I had to do everything in my power to let that happen. My motto was, and still is for many things, don’t give them a reason to not accept you. I knew if I stayed focused, there was no reason to think I wasn’t getting in.

Looking back, this mindset meant everything. I wasn’t always an amazing student in high school, and I’m not naturally gifted. I had no reason to believe I would perform well enough for them to accept me, other than that was the future I wanted to create.

I realized you didn’t have to be a genius to get good grades in college. You just had to know you could do it.

Don’t give them a reason to not accept you.

So many people reject themselves without ever giving themselves a chance. They see a job they think they’re not qualified for, so they don’t apply. Or an apartment they really like is in high demand, so they don’t submit a rental application. Or they really want to take a dream vacation, but they don’t because they think their work will suffer. Instead of limiting ourselves by these invisible scripts, what if we chose not to accept anything less than what we want? Let others reject you, but don’t reject yourself!

Shoot, even getting hit by a car didn’t stop Neil from creating his future.

It’s never easy

Most people probably don’t know this, and I’m sure he rarely talks about it. But Neil’s dream almost ended on Halloween night in 2003. Crossing a dark winding road from a friends’ house, he was hit by a Chevy Tahoe going at least 30 mph. He richocheted off the truck, hit the pavement, and was eventually rushed to the hospital.

Neil suffered fractures to his skull and leg, among other injuries. All things considered, it could have been way, way worse. He stayed in the hospital for a little while, and was eventually released on crutches. His brain was fine, all his organs were in tact, and his leg would eventually heal.

But man, what a close call. And for someone with such high aspirations, we were all worried about how this would affect his long-term goals.

Getting into Annapolis isn’t easy for someone who hasn’t been hit by an SUV. You need outstanding grades, and must be nominated by a high-ranking government official. Importantly, you’re also required to pass a medical examination and physical fitness assessment. On top of that, there are numerous physical requirements needed to become a pilot, and there are plenty of stories about brilliant flight school candidates who couldn’t fulfill those requirements due to things like slightly faulty vision, or not being able to handle the G forces required to fly a jet.

Just because it’s not easy, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

Proud of my bro

In fact, a difficult path is probably a pre-requisite for wanting something so badly. If your dream was easy to attain, you would have probably achieved it already. Things happen, people struggle, and life throws your curveballs. You have to deal with it and move forward. That’s why it’s so important to know you’ll make it. There’s no such thing as not getting there.

Neil recovered physically. He got good grades, was accepted to Annapolis, and was admitted to flight school upon graduation. I’m sure he knew it was going to happen all along.

Make it known

But maybe it’s not enough to want something. Maybe we need an extra push to force action and get us started. Something to hold us accountable to our goal. After all, we eventually need to take action at some point.

Maybe the best way to ensure you achieve a goal is to tell people about it.

We’re all susceptible to peer pressure, so this seems obvious. But think about how many times you haven’t taken action to commit, waiting for the “perfect moment.” You don’t overextend yourself by declaring your goal because… what if you fail?

But I’ve seen many examples where public commitment serves to light a fire underneath the goal setter. They want something badly, are nervous as hell they won’t achieve it, and don’t necessarily know where to start. But they start telling people about it anyway. The resulting external accountability feeds their intrinsic motivation, and they eventually get there.

Here are a few examples I’ve been thinking about lately:

  • Blogger, entrepreneur, and world dominator Chris Guillebeau made a public commitment to visit every country in the world before he turned 35 on April 7, 2013. It took him 11 years, but he finally did it, celebrating his 35th earlier this year in Norway.

And then there’s Neil declaring his dream to become a pilot in the Navy. The ultimate proof that anyone can set out to do something, and make it their reality.

Creating a dent in the world

Steve Jobs has a great quote (a paraphrased version of which has recently gone viral, thanks to Ashton Kutcher). He said,

When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and you’re life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money.

That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.

Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.

What a powerful message. Anyone can do anything, be anything, create anything. Because everything around us was built and created by people just like us. You just have to be courageous enough to have a goal, confident enough to take action, and have enough belief in yourself to know you can shape your reality.

Just like Neil did.

To recap:

  • If you want something, know it’s going to happen. Your car goes where your eyes go.
  • Don’t give them a reason to not accept you. Do everything in your power to make your dream your reality.
  • It’s never easy. Don’t be discouraged by difficulties and setbacks. If it didn’t require effort, you probably wouldn’t want it so bad.
  • Make it known. Hold yourself accountable by letting others hold you accountable. Shout your goal out loud, and get started.

So what dent are you going to create in the world?

 

Focus

Here is the family all together at the ceremony

*You can read more blogs written by my son Bryan here.

Time to Make a Difference

Make a differenceHave you ever felt you just needed to step in and make a difference? What if you had the opportunity to be part of changing an entire culture of a nation? Would you just say, “I’m in!” or would you ask numerous questions about the cost, the logistics and more?

In February 2013, at an event in Orlando, Fl. an emotional story was told by John Maxwell about his recent trip to Guatemala. The average age in Guatemala is twenty years old. There are severe gaps in living conditions, education and general wealth as in numerous other Latin American countries. The biggest difference in the case of Guatemala is the country, the people, the entire nation are ready for change.

In the audience that day in Orlando there were approximately 700 hundred speakers, coaches and trainers. Some, like me, signed up on the spot without knowing any details, to join a group to travel to Guatemala at their own expense. We were going to train people in Guatemala in seven areas of influence in the country – Transformational Leadership.

These areas are government, business, education, churches, family, military, media and arts. Today, our group of over 140 coaches met with our translators in preparation for presenting to our Guatemala audiences over the course of the next three days. The goal is to train approximately 15,000 people.

Each of these people will then train approximately ten people each over the course of the next six months. Effectively we will have trained close to 150,000 people.

Every single coach paid their own airfare, room and food costs to be here. It is a pure volunteer activity. The entire group is part of The John Maxwell Team. Guatemala Prospera and La Red are part of the team who has laid the ground work for this to take place. At the Palace in Guatemala City, this evening our entire team was applauded in person by the President of Guatemala. We applauded President Otto Perez Molina for his support of his people and their best interests to allow them to grow and learn.

Every single coach is ready to present for two – four hour sessions in the next few days to people who are hungry for change. They each know their country needs change. Each of us is ready to embark on our journey to bring change to an entire nation. One step at a time all marching to the same drum, hearing our own beat, following our hearts to make a difference.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.

What Would You Say If You Have An Opportunity To Be Face To Face With One Of Your Mentors An Icon?

There it was, my opportunity to be face to face with Zig Ziglar and have a conversation.

The one and the same, author of “Secrets of Closing The Sale” among numerous other Titles, Audios and videos.  One of the masters on the importance of mindset, planning, goal setting and inspiration.

One of my favorite Zig Ziglar quotes is –

“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.”

Carrie Wilkerson, The Barefoot Executive, hosted her BOSS event in Dallas, Texas and this is where I was going to meet, sit with and chat with Zig Ziglar.
[Read more…]

Entrepreneurs Find Inspiration From Sports

Many of my followers are not really sports fans per se.  Some proudly state “I don’t watch sports!”  Hey, that’s cool with me!  I am not here to change you.

What I would like to discuss with your permission is share a few recent stories you may enjoy reading about from the sports arena.  The main reason is there are lessons to be learned by entrepreneurs from the wide world of sports.  It just so happens a few of these stories are taking place right now.

This is the time of year called “March Madness”.  The best college basketball teams from the men’s and women’s college programs compete in bracketed tournaments all across the country to determine which teams are the best in the country from the women and from the men in the NCAA.

Geno Auriemma is the head coach for the University of Connecticut, UCONN – Huskies, NCAA Division One Women’s Basketball Team.  He has been their head coach since 1985.  His coaching record is amazing. UConn has won 6 National Championships under Auriemma (1995, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2004, and 2009) and made the Final Four 11 times[ (1991, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2008, 2009 and 2010). Auriemma has also guided UConn to 15 Big East regular season titles and 14 Big East Tournament titles. The current team has been undefeated since a game in the season before last season ( 2008-2009 ). In a recent interview, Geno was asked what keeps him going.  Here is what the six time Coach of the Year said: “The fear of Failure.  I always think, if we don’t do this or we don’t do that, I will be found out and I will be considered a failure.”  This statement as his UCONN Huskies prepare to play for the NCAA Women’s Championship on Tuesday, April 6, 2010 in San Antonio, Texas.

As an entrepreneur, do you ever think about failure?  Here is one of the games best coaches ever, saying he is driven by his fear of failure! How do you motivate yourself and not get caught up in the fear of failure?

Coach Krzyzewski is the head coach for the Duke University – Blue Devils NCAA Division One Men’s Basketball team.  He has been their head coach since 1980.  He is another coach with a phenomenal record.

Nicknamed “Coach K“, Krzyzewski has led the Blue Devils to 3 NCAA Championships, 11 Final Fours (tied for second most in history), 12 ACC Regular Season Titles, and 12 ACC championships over 30 seasons at Duke. Krzyzewski has amassed an NCAA-record 76 NCAA tournament victories, while averaging more than 25 wins per season. On March 1, 2008, Krzyzewski became the sixth men’s basketball coach in NCAA history to reach the 800-win plateau. He was elected to the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame following the 2001 season.

In a recent interview by ESPN, Coach K was asked about the Butler Team he was about to face in the NCAA Championship Game at Indianapolis on Monday, April 5, 2010 on CBS Sports.   Coach K said what was special about Butler, a school with a total enrollment of less than 4, 000 compared to Duke with almost 4 times that number, was the fact that every single player believes that they are going to win.  The media and everyone else thinks they, Butler, are underdogs, except no one told the Butler players or coaches that.  They just believe, in fact, know in their hearts, that they are going to win every single time they step on that court.

Do you believe, as an entrepreneur, that you will be a success?  Do you know you are going to fulfill your dreams and goals no matter what anyone else has to say?  How do you turn off the noise from the naysayers and follow your dreams?

Brad Stevens has been the head men’s basketball coach at Butler University – Butler Bulldogs – NCAA Division One since 2007.  His record places him near the top of the list in the history of NCAA men’s basketball coaches in terms of his record in his first three years as a head coach.  The real inspirational story about Coach Stevens is how he became the head coach at Butler.  He held a well paying position as a marketing associate at Eli Lilly and Company in Indianapolis.  Stevens felt that something was missing.  This job just was not what he was meant to do.  In June of 2000 he left Eli Lilly to pursue a career in basketball coaching, joined the Bulldogs’ staff in 2000-01 as coordinator of basketball operations under head coach Thad Matta.  He was offered a full-time assistant coaching position by Lickliter one year later.  He did not become the head coach until April 2007.

Are you following your calling as an entrepreneur?  Do you know this is what you are meant to do?  How have you ‘cut the cord’ so you would be able to really commit and focus on your entrepreneurial dream?

I hope these stories provide inspiration to you.  They do for me.