It really makes no difference at all what business you are in – you must be comfortable when you are networking.  Let’s begin this conversation by discussing what is networking?  It is anytime – let me repeat this – It is anytime – you are out and about with the opportunity to meet people?  Anytime, anywhere?  Yes, that is correct.

More formal and obvious networking is when you attend an event or a meeting designed for the express purpose of networking.  Less obvious and more casual would be when you are waiting on line to enter the movie theater or waiting on line at the Apple store.

Either way these are networking opportunities.

The goal of the first time meeting with someone from networking with them is to set up a one-on-one meeting. If you are both at a more formal networking meeting, this is not the place to have a lengthy conversation about each of your businesses. The goal is to first meet and connect. If this happens and seems to be good, agree to book a date, time and location for a meeting. The point is to begin to establish a trusting relationship with this person. How long this takes is generally up to the personalities and the interactions between the two parties.

Let’s assume you have established the trust and earned the respect of your networking friend. You know they want to help you. You know what you want are referrals for your business. Do you directly ask the question? “I would appreciate a referral or two from you for my business”. Are you asking for what you want?  Now it should go without stating it you will be there for your networking friend to provide them with referrals or what they need. It is possible they would like to have some assistance and they are seeking a really good website to be created for them and would like a name of someone.

If you actually want referrals given to you for your business you need to ask for them. The person or the group you are networking with are not mind readers. Similarly the person assisting you needs to communicate to you what they are seeking too. For all you know there is a belief that your business is doing so well and you are so booked up, that there is not a single spare moment and therefore you could not possibly need a referral.  How do you know what others are thinking about you and your business?

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.