Are You A Negative Person or A Positive Person?

water-half-fullAre you a negative person or a positive person most of the time? Each of us falls into a category in terms of our outlook on life. More specifically on our outlook each and everyday and in the moments and interactions we have throughout our day.

There are many people who feel they are great ‘networkers’ – you fully understand that everything is in the follow up. It was during one of those follow up meetings, derived from networking and scheduling a follow up one-on-one meeting that my meeting with Phil (pseudonym) took place. Well Phil had nothing good to say about anyone or in fact about anything. A number of times while trying to change the subject or to bring to light a more positive spin, Phil ignored my attempts and would just launch into his next topic of choice to slam into!

Toward the end of our meeting the question had to be asked: “Phil, don’t you find it difficult to engage with clients and sell to clients when you are so negative about everything in life, including your work and your clients?” Here is how Phil responded; “Oh, Mitch it is just you and I here, no one else. Of course I would never speak this way in front of a client!” Consider the purpose of our meeting and the fact that Phil clearly asked me to make a few specific referrals to him. What is missing here? Write your thoughts in the comments area.

Don’t we all know someone like Phil? We cannot change them. What we can do is to intentionally distance ourselves from people who have a negative attitude.

Here are a few facts about people who tend to be positive most of the time:

According to The Mayo Clinic, positive thinking results in longer life, elevated moods, lowered stress, a boosted immune system, a stronger sense of well-being and better coping skills during times of higher than usual stress. Because of the connection between the body and mind, the psychological benefits of positive thinking tend to reinforce its physical benefits. Why hang around with negative people who would like nothing better than to have you join them and participate in their personal pity party?

What if you find yourself feeling negative more often than positive in your own attitude?

The first thing to recognize once you have determined to address this issue is that this will take perseverance as this is a behavior change. You will not be able to ‘snap your fingers’ and Presto Chango you will now always have a positive attitude. This will be a continual lifelong process. Is it worth the effort some might say? Absolutely worth the effort! A study by The Stanford Research Institute reported a full 87.5% of someone’s success can be traced to their positive attitudes. The remaining 12.5% reflects contributors to their success from aptitude, knowledge or skills.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified coach, trainer and speaker based in Stamford, CT.

Are You Working With Affirmations?

affirmationsThere are various opinions and schools of thought on the use of affirmations. There are some who refer to affirmations as ‘New Age’ thinking. Others who say “Nothing is going to happen just because you hope it happens.” For those who are in this camp – there you are – you have been recognized!

The reality is that affirmations are part of what Anthony Robbins (as in Tony Robbins of the famous walk on the hot coals events) teaches and is referenced in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). Well known classic books discuss the concepts and benefits of positive affirmations – Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles.

The use of positive affirmations helps us to create a positive mental attitude. 

In actual use positive affirmations are written out and placed in a location where the statement will be seen first thing in the morning each day. This will trigger us to say the positive affirmation out loud each day to begin our day.

For those who require a little more scientific support feel free to research the topic of ‘how much of the human brain is utilized’ question. Read through the information and take note of the part which refers to:

Perhaps the broadest, most mysterious question is how diverse regions of the brain collaborate to form conscious experiences. To date, there is no evidence that there is one site for consciousness, which leads experts to believe that it is truly a collective neural effort. Therefore, the idea exists that humans have untapped cognitive potential…

Add into the mix the fact that we – all humans – learn best through ‘spaced repetition’. This is especially true when the senses are brought into play. Where reading an item is combined with hearing the item read and potentially watching the item presented via a video. Multiple repetitions and multi-sensory.

An affirmation may be on a specific topic. Affirmations may be from a book or another written work which is meaningful to us. Should one desire to create their own affirmation, keep in mind that it needs to be present tense, positive, personal and specific.

Here are a few affirmations to get you started:

  • I love and approve of myself
  • I matter and what I have to offer this world also matters
  • I breathe in calmness and breathe out nervousness
  • I am aligned with the energy of abundance
  • I play a big role in my own career success
  • I choose to fully participate in my day
  • I let go of worries that drain my energy

Feel free to work with these or find others you connect with better. You may wish to craft your own positive affirmations.

Write out a few of these and place the index card or PostIt note where you will see it to read aloud first thing in the morning each day. Write out another index card in order to carry it with you in order to read out loud a few times each day. Stick with this process for at least sixty to ninety days. At the very least, you will feel better each day when you start your day.

Do you have a personal favorite positive affirmation? Place it in the comments.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive coach who resides in Stamford,CT.

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