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The Bigger They Are, The Harder They…

BusinessTypically you read my written words here and either nod in agreement or nod the other way and you are not happy with me. This week you are being provided with information from other sources on the topic of bullying. Specifically the case going in the N.F.L. reportedly on the Miami Dolphins between Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito.

The media has a lot of coverage on this story – If you are not aware of this story, here are a couple of links for you to check out:

Quote from the New York Times:

For years, young players in the N.F.L. have been subjected to a wide swath of indignities straight from the hallways of high school or the back rooms of fraternity houses. Young players are often expected to carry teammates’ equipment off the field. They are sometimes forced to sing or otherwise entertain teammates on demand, left helplessly taped to goal posts or asked to regularly bring sandwiches or fast food to teammates.

They are often called names — Incognito referred to Martin, privately and publicly, as the Big Weirdo. In the glossy program sold at the Dolphins’ Halloween night home game, after Martin left the team, Incognito called Martin the “easiest teammate to scare.” ESPN and The Associated Press, among other outlets, citing unnamed sources, have reported that Incognito sent threatening and racist voice mail and text messages to Martin.

Source: New York Times – Full story here – http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/05/sports/football/for-the-nfl-a-question-of-hazing-or–abuse.html?_r=0

You are being asked to read through one or more of these stories and then provide your thoughts on the incident.  We have as a society presumed the act of bullying was a middle school and high school event of the big kids to the little kids or the cute girls vs. the other girls.  These are big, huge, strong, grown men.  What do you think about it?

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.


  1. I’m not at all surprised. Bullying kids grow up to be bullying adults. I’m not sure how our society turned into a bully society in schools and I dislike it very much, but of course that behavior will carry through to a person’s adult years. All the more reason to end bullying in the schools.

  2. I think that people who need to label and badmouth other people are just trying to keep attention off of what they don’t like about themselves.

  3. Mitch I have been following this all week and discussing it with my husband so it’s interesting that you are sharing about it as well. I honestly don’t know what to think. I can tell you that hearing Tony Dungy say that he didn’t want Incognito’s reputation in his locker room certainly said a lot about the player. The Dolphins however seem to very much be standing by their man. So without being there it’s hard to say. What is your take?

  4. This is such a huge issue. When are we, collectively, going to learn that this is NOT okay and stop ignoring bullying. It’s effects are powerful and lifechanging for everyone impacted. We can and should do better.

  5. I think it’s horrible and I’m pleased it’s out in the open. It’s NOT ok and needs to stop!

  6. Mitch,
    Bullying is such an important topic. I’m actually drafting a blog post about how some “list -building” techniques are just like bullying. 🙂 I may not be very popular after that.
    Write on!~
    Lisa Manyon

  7. Bullying appears to be a big part of american culture. It seems that many think it is a normal and acceptable way to behave, particularly if you are male. A lot of people tend to think it is all harmless fun, but as you know, it is not. Incognito’s actions have definitely been “out of line” and I am surprised that he has been allowed to continue his behavior for so long.

  8. Heidi Alexandra says

    Bullying is a big part of many cultures Tiffany and Mitch – not just in the USA. Unfortunately while ever one person feels a sense of superiority and entitlement to use their strength to intimidate someone we will have bullying in society… what we need is more leaders like you who are willing to bring it out in the open.