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Yep, Been There, Done That!

beenthereHave you ever been in a conversation at a networking event or a group dinner and there is at least one person who loudly and often says ”Yep, been there, done that!”

From my point of view life experiences are great. When there is someone who has been involved in a situation or a project where we have the ability to learn from them, yes, absolutely, let’s have that conversation.

The other side of the story is ‘where is this person coming from?’ Every situation is unique and has it’s own nuances. It is in fact why we are all so special.

We each bring our own unique viewpoints to every situation. These viewpoints are made up of a variety of influences. Our upbringing and family situation, our educational background, what we have read, where we have worked, what we work on, who we have spent much of our time with, and much more. Everyone has their own unique and valuable view.

The question becomes ‘which are of value to you in what you are doing or working on?’

We should strive to want to know more. There is a line of diminishing returns when we discover this is not going to result in any value to me in my business or personal life.

In order to approach this line or not we should absolutely strive to ask questions, engage in conversation and probe to learn more. If the point is reached where there is certainty

of no value, little engagement, a lack of connection or something just does not feel right, it is time to end, politely, the conversation and strike up a conversation with someone else or try a new topic with the person you are speaking with.

This is not meant to be taken as a promotion to be self serving or mean to other people. The discussion is solely about determining who is speaking with the type of bandwidth which pertains to you and your business or personal life, as opposed to someone who is a self-proclaimed know it all. By studying and practicing this skill set you become more aware of the people you speak with and their depth of knowledge. Who are the type of people you wish to be surrounded by and spend more time with?

Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

My suggestion is to choose carefully.

Mitch Tublin is an advanced certified executive and personal coach who resides in Stamford, CT.


  1. I completely agree about choosing your companions wisely!

  2. Absolutely! Choose wisely those you let in to your inner circle. It is one of the Three Keys I write about in Be True Rich. Attitudes, opinions, and ideas of those around you can be VERY influential. There are people I truly love who I still keep at a distance for this very reason.



    Katherine C. H. E.
    Author, Be True Rich

  3. I heard a great quote this past weekend, “Don’t be a know-it-all, be a learn-it-all.” In other words, always be learning. And yes Mitch, those are the types of people I surround myself with. A know it all, is a pain in the you-know-what!

  4. Mitch,
    Yes, choosing our tribe wisely is so important AND that reminds me, we need to catch up soon. It’s been way too long.
    Write on!~
    Lisa Manyon

  5. I have always liked that thing about “the 5 people you keep company with” and I believe it to be true.

  6. Heidi Alexandra says

    Great reminder Mitch I like the suggestions to strive to ask questions, engage in conversation and probe to learn more. And I love Jessica’s example of “Don’t be a know-it-all, be a learn-it-all.”